For those who swear an oath not to have sexual intercourse with their wives, there is a waiting period not longer than four months, starting from the date of the oath. If he abandons the oath and engages in sexual intercourse after having sworn not to, and this happens within the four months period, then Allah forgives them. Allah is merciful and has established compensation as a way out from such an oath.
Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with their wives must wait for four months, then if they return, verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (226)And if they decide upon divorce, then Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower (227)
The Īlā' and its Rulings
Īlā' is a type of vow where a man swears not to sleep with his wife for a certain period, whether less or more than four months. If the vow of Īlā' was for less than four months, the man has to wait for the vow's period to end and then is allowed to have sexual intercourse with his wife. She has to be patient and she cannot ask her husband, in this case, to end his vow before the end of its term. It is reported in the Two Sahihs that 'A'ishah said that Allah's Messenger ﷺ swore he would stay away from with his wives for a month. He then came down after twenty-nine days saying:
الشَّهْرُ تِسْعٌ وَعِشْرُونَ
(The (lunar) month is twenty-nine days.)
Similar was narrated by 'Umar bin Al-Khattab and reported in the Two Sahihs. If the period of Īlā' is for more than four months, the wife is allowed in this case to ask her husband, upon the end of the four months, to end the Īlā' and have sexual relations with her. Otherwise, he should divorce her, by being forced to do so by the authorities if necessary, so that the wife is not harmed. Allah said:
لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَائِهِمْ
(Those who take an oath not to have sexual relations with their wives) meaning, swear not to have sexual relations with the wife. This Ayah indicates that the Īlā' involves the wife and not a slave-women, as the majority of the scholars have agreed,
تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍ
(...must wait for four months,) meaning, the husband waits for four months from the time of the vow and then ends the Īlā' (if the vow was for four or more months) and is required to either return to his wife or divorce her. This is why Allah said next:
فَإِن فَاءُوا
(...then if they return,) meaning, to a normal relationship, having sexual intercourse with the wife. This is the Tafsir of Ibn 'Abbas, Masruq, Ash-Sha'bi, Sa'id bin Jubayr and Ibn Jarir.
فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
(...verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) with any shortcomings that occurred in the rights of the wife because of the vow of Īlā'.
Allah said:
وَإِنْ عَزَمُوا الطَّلَاقَ
(And if they decide upon divorce,) indicating that divorce does not occur by merely passing the four month mark (during the Īlā'). Malik reported from Nafi' that 'Abdullah bin 'Umar said, "If the man swears to Īlā' from his wife, then divorce does not occur automatically even after the four months have passed. When he stops at the four months mark, he should either divorce or return." Al-Bukhari also reported this Hadith. Ibn Jarir reported that Suhayl bin Abu Salih said that his father said, "I asked twelve Companions about the man who does Īlā' with his wife. They all stated that he does not have to do anything until the four months have passed and then has to either retain or divorce her." Ad-Daraqutni also reported this from Suhayl.
It is also reported from 'Umar, 'Uthman, 'Ali, Abu Ad-Darda', 'A'ishah, Ibn 'Umar and Ibn 'Abbas. This is also the opinion of Sa'id bin Musayyib, 'Umar bin 'Abdul-'Aziz, Mujahid, Tawus, Muhammad bin Ka'b and Al-Qasim.
Note:
If someone takes an oath that he will not have sexual intercourse with his wife, the case has four situations:
(A) No time-limit was fixed.
(B) A time-limit of four months was fixed.
(C) A time-limit of more than four months was fixed.
(D) The limit was identified as less than four months.
So, situations A, B and C are termed in Shari` ah as 'Ild' (ایلاء ). The injunction covering these situations is: If the oath-taker breaks his oath within four months and resumes sexual intercourse with his wife, he will have to come up with kaffarah کَفَّارہ for his oath while his nikah (marriage) remains intact. And should it be that the time-limit of four months did expire and the oath-taker did not break his oath, an irrevocable divorce on his wife will become effective, that is, taking her back without remarriage does not remain correct any more. However, if they, by mutual consent, enter into marriage this will be correct. Halalah حلالہ (an intermediary marriage of the woman with a third person) is not required. The injunction in the fourth situation is: If the oath is broken, kaffarah کَفَّارہ will be required and if the oath is completed, the marriage, even then, will remain valid. (Bayan al-Qur°an)
There are certain people who keep swearing oaths inadvertently, out of sheer habit. This is quite wrong. A believer must refrain from doing so. However, between husband and wife, such thoughtless oaths have been held legally invalid, due to the delicacy of the marital relationship. But the case of solemn, intentional oaths is different. If a man intentionally swears by God that he will not go to his wife, this is taken seriously and then Islamic law will take its course. In the family system, both the man and the woman have duties as well as rights. Each of them must, as well as demanding his or her rights, honour the rights of others. That is, if we want others to fulfill their obligations to us, we must also fulfill obligations to them. If one misuses his power and advantageous position to act unjustly towards others, then he cannot save himself from God’s chastisement.